Ode to Slang

By: Alayna Hutchison, Staff Writer

Oh, how I love to simplify 

Using long words makes me want to cry 

Blah blah blah, my brain will surely fry 

Why say older person when you could say unc 

Calling someone chopped feels like a slam dunk

Slang inspires me to flame the opps 

People who don’t use slang are destined to yield mops 

Lowkerkenuinley, why words so long 

Slang makes English sound like a beautiful song

Jokes about six or seven 

Are the closest thing on earth to Heaven 

Using slang gives the aura and rizz no cap 

If someone tells you it’s lame, it's a trap 

You’re cooked if you text like my grandma 

Why are we glazing proper grammar? 

If you hate slang, you are a scammer

Why would I type out a full word?

Commas and periods stink like a turd

Seeing a capital letter in a text 

Makes me feel like I am being vexed

Proper grammar equals loser 

Please make it stop, you word abuser

Oh slang, oh slang, how I love you 

Skibidi, Rizz Phantom Tax, and Baby Gronk too 

Please save our poor eyes and ears 

Those who don’t use slang, change your ways 

You will be met by an accompaniment of cheers

And live in happiness for all your days